There are several forms of and ways to perpetrate abuse. For example, there is drug, alcohol, and substance abuse. There is emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Domestic violence, prostitution, and addiction are just some of the outcomes of abuse. There is abuse that is carried out by a person directed towards someone else and then there is abuse that a person commits against themselves. All abuse, in whatever form it takes, however it is administered, is deleterious, unconscionable, and uncalled for. Most forms of abuse are common, meaning, people are aware that it takes place. But there is another type of abuse that many are not aware of but is becoming more and more popular, and that is spiritual abuse.
Spiritual abuse, what in the world? Actually, this type of abuse is nothing new but just like domestic violence, it is not known widespread because people just do not talk about it. Oftentimes people cannot conceive the notion that the spiritual leader they trusted and followed could ever do such a thing. Well, neither does the thought that the person you love and marry would ever hit and mistreat you come to mind, until it happens.
All abuse is subtle. It doesn’t start out rash and demeaning. If that were the case, very few would tolerate it. No, usually it begins with what appears to be a sincere, genuine, and oftentimes, generous gesture. Yes, this is done to gain one’s confidence and allegiance. Once you are taken off guard, the dance is initiated and the deception begins.
But we’re talking now about spiritual abuse, what is it? What does it look like? How can you tell if you are a victim of spiritual abuse? First know and understand that God does not condone abuse of any type, and in particular, spiritual abuse. He has placed certain individuals in position to be a help, not a hindrance to the body of Christ. Spiritual abuse can be defined as, “the misuse of a position of power, leadership, or influence to further the selfish interests of someone other than the individual who needs help;”1 “the maltreatment of a person in the name of a god, deity, faith, cult-religion, or church, whether habitual or not.”2 This is a start but once you see how it is applied, then you may begin to recognize some things as they may relate to you.
Let’s first look at some spiritual abuse that is found in the Bible. One could easily point to some of the Pharisees and see how they abused the people. We could go all the way back to the Old Testament with the Pharisees but for room sake, let’s just begin in the New Testament. Read Luke 11:37—52. Notice what Jesus is telling them. The washing was not done for health reasons but as a symbolic gesture of washing away contamination. This was something commanded by the Pharisees but was originally intended only for the priests. Jesus spoke thus to the Pharisees because they (1) gave a tithe of their garden and herbs but neglected justice, (2) loved praise and attention, (3) loaded people down with burdensome religious demands, (4) would not accept the truth about Jesus, and (5) prevented others from believing the truth as well.3 Are you starting to get a picture of spiritual abuse? Well, let’s continue.
Here are some scriptures which point to spiritual abuse:
Jeremiah 10:21 (Amp.) For the shepherds [of the people] have become like brutes, irrational and stupid, and have not sought the Lord or inquired of Him or required Him [by necessity and by right of His word]. Therefore they have not dealt prudently and have not prospered, and all their flocks are scattered.
Jeremiah 23:1,2 (Amp.) WOE TO the shepherds (the civil leaders) who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasturing! says the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for and feed My people: You have scattered My flock and driven them away and have not visited and attended to them; behold, I will visit and attend to you for the evil of your doings, says the Lord.
2 Peter 2:1—3 (NIV) But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. In their greed these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.
OK, your understanding is a little bit better; well how ‘bout if we bring it home for you? Remember, leaders who take advantage of their congregation did not start out that way. They, well most of them anyway, did not go into ministry with the intent to abuse, malign, defraud, and extort. And this is not to say that all leaders who have gone astray do all of these things. For some, they have gotten caught up in a particular vice, others were turned because of greed, and still others fell out of fellowship and relationship with God and got caught up in the praise and adoration of the people. Leaders in these predicaments need our prayers. They may or may not listen to you if you try to talk with them about their condition. Remember, to them, you are the sheep and should listen to and follow them, not counsel them.
Information I am sharing with you can also be found on the web. Do your own research, pray, and ask God to open your eyes and show you the Truth, and let it set you free. Listed next are some common characteristics of an abusive leader and or organization. It is by no means comprehensive but is intended to cover the basics. References are included at the end of the article. For the most part, I, myself, did not come up with this list but concur with the majority of the things listed; hence the reason I include it here instead of re-inventing the wheel.
Authoritarian—The most distinctive characteristic of a spiritually abusive religious system, or leader, is the over-emphasis on authority. Because a group claims to have been established by God Himself the leaders in this system claim the right to command their followers. This authority supposedly comes from the position they occupy. In Matthew 23:1-2 Jesus said the Scribes and Pharisees “sit in Moses’ seat,” a position of spiritual authority. Many names are used but in the abusive system this is a position of power, not moral authority. The assumption is that God operates among His people through a hierarchy, or “chain of command.” In this abusive system unconditional submission is often called a “covering,” or “umbrella of protection” which will provide some spiritual blessing to those who fully submit. Followers may be told that God will bless their submission even if the leadership is wrong. It is not their place to judge or correct the leadership – God will see to that.1
Image Conscious—The abusive religious system is scrupulous to maintain an image of righteousness. The organization’s history is often misrepresented in the effort to demonstrate the organization’s special relationship to God. The mistaken judgments and character flaws of its leaders are denied or covered up in order to validate their authority. Impossibly high legalistic standards of thought and behavior may be imposed on the members. Their failure to live up to these standards is a constant reminder of the follower’s inferiority to his leaders, and the necessity of submission to them. Abusive religion is, at heart, legalism. Abusive religion is also paranoid. Because the truth about the abusive religious system would be quickly rejected if recognized, outsiders are shown only a positive image of the group. This is rationalized by assuming that the religion would not be understood by “worldly” people; therefore they have no right to know. This attitude leads to members being secretive about some doctrines and the inner policies and procedures of the group. Leaders, especially, will keep secrets from their members. This secrecy is rooted in a basic distrust of others because the belief system is false and can not stand scrutiny.1
Suppresses Criticism—Because the religious system is not based on the truth it cannot allow questions, dissent, or open discussions about issues. The person who dissents becomes the problem rather than the issue he raised. The truth about any issue is settled and handed down from the top of the hierarchy. Questioning anything is considered a challenge to authority. Thinking for oneself is suppressed by pointing out that it leads to doubts. This is portrayed as unbelief in God and His anointed leaders. Thus the follower controls his own thoughts by fear of doubting God.1
These things listed describe the wayward organization and/or leader. But for all of this, they want something from you. They require and demand your loyalty, some to the point where they want you to trust them more than God, although they would never put it to you that way. No, oftentimes a conversation will start with the leader saying, “The LORD told me…” This is to immediately shut down any objections because after all, the LORD is speaking to him/her.
They also require and put a demand on your money. Any and all special offerings or fundraisers, you are required to give because it shows your faith in and support of them. There should be no question as to where the money is going or how it is being used. They have bills to pay to keep the lights and gas on and you should know and understand this.
Also required and demanded of you is your time. Yes, you need to attend every church service, every function, and every meeting called by the Pastor. This way you are showing others that you support what the organization is doing. Your family should be in attendance also because this shows that you are in charge of your family and all love and support their leader, their church.
There should be no dissent or dissatisfaction from you or the members of your family. You are to keep your family in line and involved with the activities of the church. If you are a valuable player, and you do just so happen to show signs of wandering, do not be surprised if you are suddenly offered a position. This is done to appease your wandering eyes and pull you back in. But hold on, help is on the way.
Once your eyes are opened to what is subtlety going on, you will feel within yourself the urge, the need to leave, to move on. Please know that God doesn’t want you to stay in this place. He placed shepherds in your life to lead and guide you, not to take advantage of and abuse you. Some of these men and women do it for the money, prestige, and power it brings them. They want to be known as having the biggest or best church. Like the Pharisees, they want the praise and attention. It is just as easy for them to do right but they prefer the comfortable way where they can do it their way instead of God’s. In their doctrine is just enough truth to make it right but it is void of anointing. They have turned their ears from listening to God and turned their face from seeking Him. Ideas are self-manufactured with a “God said” attached to it. Many people who are stuck in this abusive system want to leave but are afraid to. Many rationalize it away by saying, “I’m waiting for God to release me,” or “I’m waiting for God to tell me to leave.” Does He really have to? If you are some place where you are being abused and dying spiritually, does God really have to tell you to get out? Perhaps He already has but because your ears have been dulled to the Truth, you didn’t hear Him clearly. Trust me, if you have a persistent urging to leave, it’s time for you to make a move. Seek God earnestly and let Him lead you out of Egypt.
There is so much more that can be said on this topic and this article has just touched the tip of the iceberg. But God has given us His precious Holy Spirit to lead and guide us into all truth. Pray, seek God, and ask Him to open your eyes and ears to hear His will for your life. I trust that when you are ready to receive the Truth you will be set free. God bless you and keep you, in Jesus’ name. AMEN!
http://www.watchman.org/profiles/spiritual-abuse/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_abuse
NIV Bible Luke 11:37—52 notes
